Amazingly atmospheric writing!

Friday 02 February 2018

We’re thrilled to share two amazingly atmospheric examples of writing with you by Reece and Jacob in Year 6.

The children used one of the Year 5 and 6 Learning Objectives to develop the skills of using other writing as a model for their own writing. This isn’t simply copying another writer; instead, it’s using their work as inspiration, a model, for their own ideas and style. The original text was the wonderful ‘The Nowhere Emporium’ by Ross MacKenzie.

LO: To use other similar writing as a model
The shop was made of midnight black stone, embedded in little specks of silver and gold. The iron gate sat there in front of the grand oak door, guarding the entrance like a soldier. It had wooden beams which reached sky high which loomed ominously over the dusty street. Although the giant beams and the great gate looked quite foreboding, there was something calming and also quite mesmerising about the strange building. Just above a black, tinted, barred window were some letters that spelled out the name: The Midnight Mall.
Inside it seemed almost completely normal. The darkness ate at the light in the corners but that was all. Or at least it seemed like that was all. But if you focused a bit more you’d notice a green aura of light around all of the objects. The walls had cracks in them, the plants whacked each other with their branches even though the air was still. Small and very distant screeches could be heard if you stayed quiet. The place seemed quite intriguing yet kind of scary all at the same time, if you notice all those things. The shop with all this stuff that is quite mysterious can only appear at midnight.
Afterwards, it will be gone.

LO: To use similar writing as a model
The Master led Vindictus through the abandoned worn-out factory. The derelict building stood lifeless. Its crumbling chimneys and hanging gutters were clogged with moist, rotting leaves and the walls were pitted, as if they had been gnawed by hundreds of starving rats. Vindictus followed the Master through to the decrepit, ancient office. The Master snatched a worn key from a battered safe. They passed conveyor belts that hadn’t been used for a decade or two.
“Argh!” screamed the Master as a nightmare-ish, blood curdling wail erupted from a larger-than- life bat. Whilst the Master was hyper-ventilating, Vindictus asked, “Is this where you keep him?” pointing to a weather-worn prison cell. “I’m afraid we had no choice,” sighed the Master. “He was violent to the other boys but he is well fed.” The prison cell was dark and dreary. Boxes were scattered around the room. They contained unknown items. Although the entrance was damaged from constant usage, it was still firm. The boy inside was dreary, lonesome and unexcitable. However, there was something intriguing about him.

I’m sure you’ll agree that these are very accomplished! Well done to all our children. We could have chosen lots of their writing to publish!